Trump's biggest regret: Marilyn did not jump out of a cake for his birthday

(Satire at its best).

Outgoing President Donald J. Trump, after finally tweeting that he had lost to Joe Biden, stated that his biggest regret as President was that Marilyn Monroe did not pop out of a birthday cake for him and sing "Happy Birthday Mr. President" to him. "If she could pop out of a birthday cake for JFK in 1962, the second year of his Presidency,  why couldn't she pop out of a cake for me in 2018, the second year of my Presidency?," the President asked Chris Hayes in a rarely granted MSNBC interview.

 

Trump continued, "JFK did great things for civil rights, for world peace and for the Space Race. But look at me. Nobody did more for all of those things than me and my administration. If JFK could get recognition from Marilyn Monroe, then why can't I get at least a pop up birthday cake visit?"

Not worth the jealousy

Hayes then asked the President if he thought that it perhaps was better for everyone concerned that Marilyn did not pop out of a birthday cake for him since it could have made Melania jealous. Trump quickly responded, "Oh no. Melania and I have discussed jealousy before. She has made it very clear to me that I simply am not worth being jealous about. So far as she's concerned, anybody could pop out of that cake and she would not be jealous. I simply am not worth the jealousy to her."